so today i realised its been a month since that break up and honestly now that i look back on it . its all kinda funny . i mean yes it did hurt like hell for a couple of days but u know theres a reason for everything and now i realize that the thing we shared was like a candle in the wind . and the sad part is that . that had been the case for a while now and i for one did need a break from all that drama.
But still a month and 2 rebounds later . here i am typing about her again. knowing what we had is potentially over and the future we had is pretty much gone too. but theres this warm fuzzy voice in my head that thinks what if all that hadnt happened ? well for one … my life wouldnt have been that gravely affected . neither would i be happier or something.
I guess its just that when i moved to delhi , she was the only familiar face i had here. my one connection to home , but she was also the only thing keeping me from leaving that “home”town behind..
Yes i would have someone to text right now , but id also have someone who wouldnt let me meet her friends coz she thought it was gonna be awkward. i would have actual dates but i also would have to wait weeks for them . i would have the girl i loved , but also the one that never really told me she loved me until very recently that too when she was hammered.
So maybe she did the right thing , maybe living in a loveless relationship is not worth it after all and maybe as much as i had thought it was never really that good .
So yeah i guess most relationships do have an expiration date. and most of us do pretend to look past them simply because we are so used to that person being around us we’ll take anything they say or do with a pinch of salt and stay with them rather than dumping them when we’ve had enough .
and that concept is something ive lived with for the past 2 years. i knew she was bad for me and i knew she thought all the wrong stuff about me , but there i was looking past it and living happily in the few lines of text i got and the “dates” she cancelled .
speaking of cancelling dates. If you are reading this R then this is for you. YOU CANNED ON ME ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY ! WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT ?
YOU TOLD ME THAT U DELIBERATELY CANCELLED ALL OUR PLANS AND YOU GOT MAD WHEN I GOT MAD AT THAT !!!
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK UGHH… HOW COULD YOU EVEN DO THAT
Now im gonna stop typing before i end up with a 6 cm hole in my laptops screen .