We’ve made it this

I don’t want to hand you all my troubles. You’re not gonna be picking up my pieces. My struggles are my own you dont have to watch me. You’ll have to see me fail, from miles away.

But today. I need you to stay. 

Im trying to sleep but my alarm clock doesnt let me, its set to ring at 6, its 4. Im scared it’ll wake me as soon as i sleep and see you. 

I cant risk losing you again. Ill just do it tomorrow. 

Look at my neck, its not exactly beautiful is it ? 

Look at my face. Say the same thing and ill shoot you. Its all perfection on this horizon, walk close to me and you’ll see why its not. 

Im sorry for the times I’ve been a code, a crying cipher you’ve had to hold. Im sorry for the times ive acted cold. Sorry for the times i didn’t do what you told. 

I see a whole room of mutant kids. Their hands are sabres, not the kind you see on star wars though, they look at me and point me in your direction. I can’t do shit when you wont take my hand. One day might not be enough to heal us.

But three hours have been enough to make me believe in what i feel, there hasn’t been any distraction to mask the fear of what’s real. 

Im sorry.

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