Been a while since i did something personal. Been a long tine since i actually talked to you guys. Im gonna take today’s post to do just that.
As you know ive become somewhat of a better writer than i was when i started and my lovely audience has shot up to 1197 followers. My skills for imagery have gotten better and i can finally type on a keyboard that has the “H” key working.
Dare i say, its a good patch. But then again we all have our demons. Mine just happen to be happiness and my search for it.
Its funny how the old me would get a tattoo to get rid of all the voices. Writing helps me out so much, anyway this post is meant for something no one in the world knows about me and whats a better way of coming out with my secrets than the blog that keeps me sane.
You probably wont pay heed to my words but just try to imagine this. You are thinking about something but not in your own voice. You have 3 different voices with 3 different personalities in there. And now imagine if they dint get along, EVER.
I have the privilege of having this. There’s me. There’s red and there’s the third guy.
Red’s the angry one and the third one is just sad all the time.
Now this may seem like a joke. But imagine having to decide what to wear or which word to use next and having two people giving you constant chatter, the voices scare me sometimes. Used to scare me much more when i was a kid. I did things, bad things, just to make them leave that didn’t happen, i tried to listen to them but god, they’re bad bad people.
There’s times when im a prisoner here, red takes over a lot. Says stuff i dont want to say. Now i get that this makes me seem borderline schizo but then again i have embraced them and i have made deals with them. Things im not particularly proud of at this particular moment but deals nonetheless. They have their vents. And i have my life. We all win. Still, the struggle gets real whenever red gets mad or the third guy gets sad.
They say and do stuff i dont want to. Its hard to get them to back off sometimes. This might sound weird but this has always been there. They. Have always been a part of me.