This crop at which we stare

The tube moves at the speed of a turtle on acid as my eyes try their best not to stare at the man in front of me or the people that sit.

I was standing before I sat down, they were glaring at me when I stood, they’re still fucking glaring at me, oh god they are talking, Oh my god there’s a baby in the goddamned vicinity. 

I shit you not someone just let one rip,this guy’s scratching his balls, beautiful, thats what I wanted to see when i woke up today,  the one shot perfectly set the scene of my insecure dreams.

A stranger with a stranger’s strange baby, laughing. God dammit. its a kid, it shits and eats, not much more, please stop, someone, make this stop. 
YES. Rajiv chowk.

You’ll save me.

No. 

No.

Get off . You guys are supposed to get off. Fucking hell, the bimbo handed the kid her phone, an old couple is standing here too, they look calm, pretty serene to be honest NO FUCK NO not you too aunty.

WILL SOMEONE STOP PLAYING WITH THE GOD DAMNED KID

There’s a different guy infront now, guess what, even he’s scratching awat.

Do you even Leviosa ?

Gyms . a breeding ground for testosterone charged over inflated steroid infused creatures that i like to term as “BROs”

A bro is any guy who talks about his deitary suppliments the way most guys talk about Females.

a bro is also the Sigma male of every group. in the sense that his sole purpose is to bring the group together in the act of making fun of him .

he has 6 abs and 3 iq points usually occupied by researching bikes , stretch poses and EDM .

BRO is a qualitative term used as either a pronoun or adjective . Pronunciation – Dick head .

A bro will be the best at everything , apart from academics , Arts & his or her job.

their egos are usually just as inflated as their pecs from all the estrogen.

A bro will never excercise for fitness purposes, they do it for a term called “asthetics”

where asthetics come from or what they are , no one is sure of , Asthetics are a well keot secret passd down from bro to bro . on reaching a point in their brolife called the 50 KG mark , where the Bro can bench press the said amount

Asthetics are not the only long term goals of the bros , their main target usually is to someday become exactly like their trainer babloo. ( HE’s THE BEST ROLE MODEL . LOOK AT THAT LEAN MUSCLE AS HE TEACHES PEOPLE HOW TO WALK )

Babloo bhaiya is usually the proto bro ,  a man so coagulated by his convulsions on the ground that his 3 iq points are all pointed together towards the direction of his biceps.

every Bro strives to someday participate in the Mr. *enter city name here * competition and win it so that he can win the respect of every bro ever Brewed .

Bros are amazing as friends , they will continuosly touch your love handles and remind you that theyre composed of fat, bros also like to fondle the chests of all their male friends. As it is clear that they’re most likely never getting the oppurtunity to do that to a decent ( read : Non Slutty ) Girl.

If you are in social interaction with a BRO , hug him , and compliment his pecs , the poor protein bucket needs it.

TO BE CONTINUED

PS. this is the first post in a long series of stereotype bashing posts , where i bash every friend i have by categorizing them in accordance with their habits .

The R word 

Wannabe Feminists.

The bartenders of a faith that exists solely because our country can’t believe that psychotic sociopaths exist.

Its not about how a act is heinous because men can’t control themselves.

Its always.

Always about one person, one very bad.

Very sick person, who does sick things.

If one man is an Ahole who commits a greusome crime we suddenly decide to tarnish the entire gender.

Meanwhile a psychopathic lady kills people for cheap thrills and a sense of entitlement.

Its not about sexism, its not about saying the men of this country are bad people, ladies always remember all the guys who’ve dropped you home, noted down the numbers of the auto-rickshwa you travel in and made sure nothing happens to you.

It’s not like we’re all out there to shoot you down. We’re not all there to defend the crime. Believe me nothing crushes a man more than a certain politician saying “galti ho jati hai” when most of us were candle marching for weeks.

Please feminists. Stop banishing men, its not the entire gender that commits a crime, its an individual, a sick, psychotic individual.

Learn the difference between feminism and male bashing. Coz at the end of the day of you’re nothing but a female version of a sexist fucktard.

Chetan bhagat sucks

So have you ever had that sleep the perfects sleep with the perfect song booming in your ears ?

I fucking hate that

You cant go back to it you cant ever really achieve it .the second you et there its taken away , just like everything else you’ve ever tried to achieve . You want it , it wants you but its complicated , sometimes the timing isn’t right , sometimes the music is worthless because you forgot to dim the lights . Perfection in sleep cant be achieved .

Perfection being as unnatural as it is , breeds a whole new level of greed , it drives people to perfect their prose and try to be the guy/girl they always wanted to be .

And then theres Chetan Bhagat.

He’s a pass out of IIT and IIM And the guy writes like a horny 13 year old describing his interpretation of Christopher Nolan’s “inception”.

And don’t even get me started on the new wastage of paper that mister Bhagat calls a book.

Half girlfriend ?
Really ?
Could you BE more clichéd ?

Next station is Rajiv chowk. Doors will open on the left. Please mind the gap.

Delhi metro.

The heart and soul of every dilli-walah.

Ok maybe not heart and soul but definitely very important. Somewhat like the liver.. anyways thats not the point . The point is that the metro is beautiful. It is an amazingly laid out network which is soo efficient that its usually the only thing you can trust in the city. ( after auto waalahs being assholes )

Its an engineering marvel. And a perfectly constructed system. But the real beauty lies in how it lets you experience the city on a way more personal level than anything else . And by personal I obviously mean that you can literally smell what that guy sticking to your Leg had for dinner. And what that auntys husbands secretary did lady sunday. Sometimes you also hey some occasional hope that someone fron the opposite sex is staring at you bit they’re usually either creeps or people that look like they’re stunt doubles for the henchman who gets impaled by a metal pipe in that one south indian movie. ..

Then there’s the announcements. God damn those announcements. Especially this – Next station is “random station” , doors will open on the “right/left” please mind the gap…. dude I know there all useful and shit but seriously man I DO NOT WANT THEM TO BE FOLLOWED BY EVERYONE AROUND ME JITTERING AND SAYING ooh chalo stqtion aa gya . Fuck you socially awkward guy with a boss who’s got bad breath !!!!! ( you know he has that coz he also talks really loud on the phone)

Then they’re the couples. Theres the good couples and the Fucled up couples.  The good couples are a couple in love who occasionally kiss or hug . The bad couple is the one that fights and discusses how theyre angry that the girl/guy is talking to that bitch on facebook and how the guy should stay away from her or the girl is gonna slap him in public…. thats just sad. .. on so many levels (2)

Anyways yeah the point is the metro is beautiful . So are the people . And the only thing seriously wrong with the metro is the colour scheme… yellow and silver. . Seriously? ?

Ok leave that.. the reson I wrote this was because.. well… I just did … fuck logic right ?

K bro.

Bye.

Lol.
Jk.

No seriously. .

Bye..

Or wait…

Actually dont..

So

Yeah..

How are you still reading ?

I like potatoes. ..
Yeah. .

-bhavya

Stalker much ?

So I have a practical tomorrow.  And with that comes a choice. Should I study ? Or should I write about something with utterly no significance to my life or anyone elses for that matter…

I chose option 2. 😛

So yeah has any of you ever got a stalker ?

You know that one guy or girl who follows your every move. Who tries break up your relationships and wants to get married to you asap ?

These people usually have a tendency to be the most depressed people you know.

Now here are my 10 tips to identify a stalker. And for my own convenience im gonna refer to said stalker as she.

1. She gives you handmade cards and gifts that clearly took a lot of effort even when you are just acquaintances.

2. She finds excuses to have the same friends as you just so she can be close to you. She attacks your best friends first .

3. She writes about you. Again the woman doesn’t know you.but she still writes about how awesome you hair looked on that day from 5-7 pm

4. You suddenly start seeing her everywhere you go.

5. She tells you how lonely and vulnerable she is. Trust me she isnt. Dont fall for that . Dont think with your hormones.  You do not want to get into that . Literally.

6. She gives you a creepy nickname like say… cadbury ( WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ?)

7. She tell everyone and you she loves you. Every freakin day.

8. You seem to be creeped out by her presence.

9. She tries to get close to your family.

10. JUST LOOK AT HER !!!

-bhavya

The four letter p word.

Some people think it’s cool.  Some pose to be that.  Some love the word. Some actually live it.

It’s not just about your music library.  It’s not you’r hair. Its not the clothes. Its all about how you live in the box you’re stuck in.

The word is punk. And the box is this society.

People think that being punk is about not giving a fuck. Not caring and being your own self. this is true to some extent but being a punk is about soo much more. for me its all about living outside the box . While being in the box.

Its all about being who you are and living by what you believe  while society shoves its ideas down your throat all while listening to the blitzkrieg bop while wearing what ever you want to .

The music is very important though. Technically, our playlists define who we are. They tell you what kind of a person  one is.If its full of bands like green day , the ramones , the clash , sex pistols , rise against , blink 182 ; even the more pop-y punk bands like mayday parade , simple plan , mcr etc or post punk bands like the arctic monkeys , the vaccines etc. You sir are already half punk.

The other half of being punk is doing what pleases you whenever it pleases you. Punk is a 4 chord rush to the finish line. Its just you and what you believe.

Its all about not conforming to the social order. Its about leaving your mark on the box you’re stuck in.

And no. Its not about screaming the word fuck alot . Or disrespecting every one around you.  Or having a mohawk.
All of that is just someones way of defying society . Not everyone else’s.

Being punk is easy. Afterall it doesn’t have any rules except your own.

-bhavya

The fuzz buzz (Really bad writing)

You like her. She likes you. You date. And Things are great. U plan on telling your friends soon. There’s no judgment both of you are comfortable. It seems just too good to be true. Maybe it is. Or maybe its not.

All you know is that you cant see her for  2 weeks. All you know it’s that everytime you see her  you’re just gonna fall for her even more..

She’s your girlfriend. You’re the boyfriend and no one could change it.

But it doesn’t feel that complete… There’s something missing. You can’t put your finger on it but it is. So you start overthinking everything and end up losing it.

Overthinking… Its something that plagues everyone at some point. We cant even help it. But what we are always supposed to remember is that
Overthinking just kills your happiness. And thats about all it does for you.

If you’re a chronic overthinker. Dude. Just relax. Stop thinking soo much. Dont focus that much on playing a scenario over and over in your head. Focus more on living it in real life. All of that mental skipping is just gonna make you feel like shit at all points.

I have this habbit and sometimes it gets ugly. It starts with someone replying late and ends up with her hating me..  In my head.

Ask the people i know they’ll completely vouch for this. Just stop overthinking people. It’s all for your own good. Especially people in 12th right now. The boards will not define who you are for the rest of your life  no matter what anyone tells you.

-bhavya

Bull shit.

Bow in the past few days the quality of my blog has been on a decline. Yes. I know. Its not because i dont want to write anymore its just because i haven’t been feeling enough. So i just woke up from a stupid nap and i feel like shit. Ooh i felt something thats not happy. I could use that.

So  the thing with any form of expression is that it can be good if the expressor is happy. But it can only be great if he’s not. That’s true for music, art, dance, film, literature and even my blog. No one wants to hear how good my life is or how good i feel. No everyone reads this to see how bad it was and how i tackeled it and what im trying to learn from it. And that is really really sad. But then again isnt that why we do everything?  Just to feel a little better?

So i woke up unhappy today and the first thing i thought was. I Gotta get some writing done. And here i am typing away on my phone from my bedroom in my dads place looking for a direction to lead this description towards.

But its funny how happiness enhances everything about a person. But takes his passion onto the backseat. And i blame love. The four letter version of hallelujah. A 21 gun salute to all things mushy and sappy. A feeling so weird that no one can explain it but everyone knows what it is.

So im gonna use an example to explain what im trying to say. A friend of mine always wanted to be a doctor. Somehow that was his passion. The passion of helping others. But then he fell in love with a girl from another stream. Boom. Recipe for regret. And then what happened was something many of us are familiar with.
Guy has dreams. Guys follows dreams.
Guy meets girl. Guys falls in love with girl. Guy quits dream and follows the girl instead. Guy and girl break up. Guy is left loveless and dreamless.

And that is what i wanna say through this post. Dont let love rule you. Let your art,  your passion, be your ruler.

-bhavya

5 X 6 = 42

So we all have that one dream innlife which we want to achieve.

Many people give up on it when they grow up and join the rat race. Many people fight for it till the end and taste soo mucb happiness that they become an inspiration for everyone.
I remember once a friend of my dad told me dreams are for little kids and that in the real world you have to be practical…

For some people the dream is money. For some its change. For others its doing what makes them happy. Being in an IHM i am surrounded by two kinds of people. The reachers and the settlers. The reachers came on their own accord. They came to be the best in the hotel industry or the restaurant business. They have dreams and everytime they come to college they take one step closer to achieving that dream. Then theres the settlers the guys and girls who couldnt find anything better. Who settled for being in an IHM… I hate the settlers 😛 (first emoticon in the blog!!) sometimes i feel sorry for the people that dont have a dream in their life. And there are many who dont. Coz ultimately dreams are our aims they are the only thing that guide us to the end the only thing that give us the happiness we deserve.

So if you’re one of the kids who has that gleam in his/her eyes and you have this one crazy idea that you believe in. Go for it. Don’t think twice just go for it. Life is all about the chase and the journey. You might enjoy the end result of being a doctor/engineer. But ehats the point of that if you didn’t live on your way to the top?  So go out take a risk. Make a gamble. Have a drink and leave the thinking to the future. Dont live in the moment. Make that moment come alive.

-bhavya